High price for pilfering pot roast

Updated: December 28, 2004, 3:12 PM ET
By Chris Mortensen | ESPN Insider
Usually, I save the good stories for my family and close personal friends. I'm going to break from that tradition, feeling that perhaps my story can help someone out there who has the same disease: Klutzitis.

Late last week I was in the kitchen scavenging around for something to eat. My wife, Micki, had thrown a huge pot roast into the crock pot. The aroma was too tempting to ignore. I grabbed a fork and lifted the lid to get a little taste.

At just about that moment, my cell phone rang. I looked at the screen and knew from the number that someone from the Miami Dolphins was calling me.

I answered. It was Jim Bates, the interim coach who has done such a wonderful job filling in for Dave Wannstedt under difficult circumstances.

But the pot roast was calling, too.

I tucked the phone under my chin as I started my conversation with Bates. Holding the crock pot lid in my left hand and the fork in my right, I took a stab at the roast.

Then, tragedy.