The Toe Poke Daily is here every day to bring you all the weirdest stories, quirkiest viral content and top trolling that the internet has to offer, all in one place.
Zlatan Ibrahimovic is one of the most entertaining footballers in the world -- both on and off the pitch. From incredible strikes to outrageous comments, he constantly keeps us on our toes.
Now that it's his 38th birthday and he's still scoring goals for fun in MLS, we've compiled 38 of his best quotes to remind us how wonderful he is.
What a video from Boca vs. River
The local derby between River Plate and Boca Juniors is always a lively affair, and the meeting between the two Argentinian sides on Wednesday definitely didn't disappoint.
Despite the fact that Boca fans were banned from the stadium, the River supporters inside El Monumental still managed to create an incredible cacophony on their own.
However, the best view of the prematch festivities came from high above, as captured from the cockpit of a plane that was coming into land at Buenos Aires airport.
View from an airplane landing in Buenos Aires as River Plate and Boca players entered the stadium last night. pic.twitter.com/diHC8xG1iv— Paul Kennedy (@pkedit) October 2, 2019
River waltzed to a comfortable 2-0 defeat as the semifinal first leg tie was played out in relative peace.
The two eternal rivals will now meet again on Oct. 23 for the second leg, this time at La Bombonera.
A double overhead kick
Nakhon Ratchasima suffered the misfortune of falling to a 3-2 home defeat against table-toppers Buriram United in the Thai top flight on Wednesday evening.
However, they did score a rather fabulous consolation goal to reduce the deficit mere seconds before the final whistle.
Indeed, as the 94th minute wicked away, Nakhon duo Leandro Assumpcao and Kitsada Hemvipat combined at the far post to score a stupendous "double overhead kick."
On closer inspection, both players appeared to strike the ball at the exact same time and in the exact same acrobatic manner.
It's perhaps fortunate that one of them didn't decide to go with his head.
Alexa chants available now
Amazon has announced that a new update to Alexa will allow football fans to instruct its virtual assistant to sing various terrace chants.
A variety of popular chants and songs will be made available for all Premier League, Championship and League One clubs, as well as a selection of Scottish sides.
For example, users asking to hear a Man City chant will be serenaded by Alexa's rendition of "We've got Guardiola" while Man United supporters will hear "Ole's at the wheel" and Tottenham will receive a spirited burst of "When the Spurs going marching in."
As well as chanting, you'll also be heartened to learn that Alexa can also now spout various facts and statistics to encourage lively discourse between rival teams.
Arsenal fans can be asked if they would like to do schedule something on a Thursday night, only to be swiftly reminded by Alexa that their team will be playing (in the Europa League) instead -- which is apparently something deserving of mockery.
West Ham fans can be encouraged to "take binoculars with them" to the London Stadium -- a pithy reference to the distance between the pitch and the stands at the Hammers' cavernous new ground.
Basically, Amazon are ushering in a brave new age of e-banter, and we're all lucky enough to be living through it.